After more than a year away from home, we couldn’t wait to spend some time with family and friends, soak in the New Orleans sun, and eat some good cajun food. We even got to celebrate Willow and Bria’s 2nd birthday!
Our first month in Europe has been one of excitement, exhaustion, celebration, and mourning. In the same week, both René and I bid long-distance farewells to our grandmothers. The heartbreaking, yet enlightening, truth that I can not forever share my grandparents, people who have loved me most, with my child, whom I love most, struck me like a ray of sun on a clear cold day – painfully blinding yet warm.
Without Maw Maw Marion, there would be no me, and without her death, Rainier would have no future. I question death, and naturally, life; the made-up words in which we try to contain them, suck. I think of Alan Watts’s description of our skin as tiny holes that connect us to the rest of the universe.
And with that feeling of connectivity, I celebrated my 33rd birthday in Amsterdam with René and Rainier, and new friends from around the world, and Maw Maw Marion, and her grandmother too. And I smile knowing that she would not have had it any other way – with big pieces of her in a canal-filled city.